Black Moustache vivianexvictoria: July 2014

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

I'm not happy


I'm unhappy. I haven't been truly happy for the longest time. I guess it's another horrible start to a post but I've come to a realization that I am not happy, and I don't know why. 

This kinda got me thinking — what makes me happy?

I thought about it and tried to find an answer but I really don't know. You're probably judging me right now and I can't say I blame you. It seems pretty impossible to not know what makes one happy; surely there are things and people I like that make me smile. 

And there are! I love my family, my friends, my classmates, my collection of stuffed-toys; I love travelling; I love trying new things and chasing dreams; I love shopping, singing, spending time with people who are important to me. I love a lot of things — the list is endless. 

But then again, just because one loves many things doesn't mean they are happy with the life they're living, nor do these things makes them genuinely smile all the time. In a lot of ways, we all want to be happy but don't know how. I'm no exception. I guess I'm in this point in my life where I'm overwhelmed by everything I'm going through – all the commitments and expectations thrown at me – so much so that I've lost and forgotten what it means to be truly happy, and it sucks. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

I don't know where I'm going with this post. I guess I just wanted to talk about how I really felt. I mean, as much as I like being introverted and being alone, there are times when I've to let my thoughts out. 

So the truth is that I'm not happy, I don't know why and I don't know what to do about it. What about you?